Sunday, July 27, 2014

Sexuality & Prostate Cancer

Prostate cancer, more often than not, devastates a man's sense of himself as a sexual person.
The prospect of not being able to achieve, or maintain an erection can cause such deep grief and loss that many men abandon sexual intimacy entirely.
The consequences of this, together with dealing with their health crisis, is a breakdown of existing and future relationships.
As difficult as it can be to feel fully sexual and intimate with a partner after prostate cancer, men can and do, go on to have deep and fulfilling sexual lives.
In many cases, a fuller sexuality is experienced.

Sometimes, a person has long held preconceptions about what constitutes lovemaking.
Both partners might find it difficult to get past the notion that sex is foreplay, penetration, orgasm - in that or any other order - if they're lucky.
Holding on to this belief can make it very difficult to achieve a rich sexual life. Once it is let go of however, the doors open to reveal a myriad of powerful and loving experience.

Limited function of the penis doesn't stop a man or their partner from enjoying each others bodies. When the mind stops relying on the strength of the erection and focuses more fully on the sensation of touch and sensuality - arousal and intimacy is the result.

Encourage each other to explore massage (particularly penis massage), all over tongue worship, edible oils, bondage (from very light blindfolds and cuffs to nipple clamps and spanking for example), fantasy, games, anal play and sex toys.

There are several toys that we recommend that can help achieve a fuller and stronger erection and that can be incorporated in to lovemaking or masturbation.

1. The Penis Pump.
Place the penis inside the pump, through the silicone sleeve. Squeeze the pump until you have created a vacuum inside the tube and you can't squeeze any more. The vacuum works to draw the blood to the penis and create an erection. If erection is achieved, use an erection ring to maintain it.
Using a pump as soon as you can post surgery, is a great way to open the blood flow through to the penis again. Regular use of it this way, without lovemaking in mind, can re-train the body to connect energy pathways and bloodflow.

2. Erection Rings.
The erection ring works best when placed around both the penis and testicles. If you have achieved an erection, use the ring to trap the blood inside and keep it from flowing back out too quickly. Spread some lubricant around the penis and testicles and stretch the ring fully so you can place everything through. It should fit nice and firmly without being too loose or too tight. Erection rings also intensify orgasm as the blood stays in the penis for longer.

3. Pulse.
The Pulse is a great toy that stimulates the head of the penis as well as the length, in particular the more sensitive frenulum through pulsing vibration. The flaccid penis can be placed on the toy, with the vibration working to achieve bloodflow around the head and shaft. This toy was originally designed using pulsation technology engineered by the medical industry, to help men with spinal injury to ejaculate and be fertile. The Pulse can be used to achieve erection or as a masturbating device to maintain sensation.

4. Cobra Libre.
In many ways, The Cobra is similar to The Pulse, but the vibration is concentrated solely at the head of the penis.The penis is placed inside the toy and the vibration stimulates the entire head.

5. Strap On Hollow Harness
When erection is impossible, a strap on harness can be used. The dildo is hollow so that a man can have his penis inside the dildo and still penetrate his partner.

When surgery, injections or drugs aren't an option for you, experiment with different lovemaking experiences, without orgasm and ejaculation being the goal.

As with all sexual changes, prostate cancer can provide an opportunity to find new ways of giving and receiving pleasure. Sometimes a loss of libido is experienced after prostate surgery. If this is affecting the quality of your relationships and you need further help, talk to your GP or contact The Cancer Council for help in dealing with these issues.

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Tuesday, July 1, 2014



Guest Blog by Rhonda, editor of Perks Magazine.

People make a lot of claims about the impact of using pornography, particularly internet pornography. The internet provides users with greater accessibility, affordability, anonymity and a sense of community, which can have significant benefits, such as normalising a greater variety of sexual interests, reducing isolation for sexual minorities and enabling individuals, particularly women, to explore their sexuality free from public scrutiny and shame.
Others claim these same factors can have negative effects, for instance, that pornography use creates unrealistic expectations about our bodieswhich has resulted in an increase in demand for cosmetic alterations like labiaplasty, breast augmentation and anal bleaching. Individuals report feeling pressured to engage in extreme and sometimes unsafe sexual activities to imitate what they see in porn, while others blame hardcore pornography for an increase in antisocial attitudes and behaviours, particularly towards women.
Recently articles have begun to appear about the negative impact of porn on younger men, who have had a high level of exposure to internet pornography from a very early age. Guys in their twenties report experiencing erectile dysfunction when porn is absent and that they feel disconnected from and dissatisfied with their real-life partners. Others claim to use internet pornography compulsively, which is often called porn addiction.
While a basis might exist for some (or all) of these claims, sifting through the social commentary and peer-reviewed literature is problematic. Multiple reports on the same issue, or its appearance on a number of online forums, suggests a social phenomenon, but it is difficult to know because when a topic exists in the media it tends to fuel further articles about the same subject. Similarly when people discuss an issue on a forum or ask a question in an advice column, it tends to inspire questions and responses from others around the same theme, which can create a false impression that the problem is quite widespread. When it comes to scientific studies and academic papers, the same is true. One study sparks further studies along the same lines, potentially creating the illusion that something has greater importance or prevalence than warranted.
Finding quality clinical evidence in this area is also difficult because many studies into the use of internet pornography rely upon convenience samples. Studies typically collect data from college students who volunteer to take part in online surveys for extra credit. Others focus on problem populations, such as convicted sex-offenders or couples and individuals seeking treatment for perceived porn addiction. This means their findings can’t be considered representative of the wider population and can give a distorted impression of reality.
In addition, studies into pornography use tend to consider populations at a point-in-time, so while researchers have been able to draw correlations between internet pornography use and positive or negative outcomes, they have not demonstrated cause and effect between the different variables. One such study found an association between women’s use of pornography and greater sexual satisfaction for couples. This could be the result of cognitive and emotional changes from exposure to pornography, or it could be that women who use pornography have more liberal attitudes to sex, higher sex drives and/or greater sexual agency. Similarly, men who used pornography more often reported being critical of their partners and engaging in sex less frequently, however their increased use of pornography could be a symptom of underlying dissatisfaction, not the other way around. The association alone does not give insight into cause and effect.
We know porn offers a sensory escape in the way some people turn to alcohol or gambling, yet where studies link excessive internet pornography use to anxiety and depression, pornography use is often seen as the primary presenting problem rather than a secondary symptom of someone who already suffers from anxiety and depression. Cause and effect has not been established and so studies of these populations may have skewed results.
Another claim commonly made in the media is that frequent pornography users need to escalate to more and more extreme material to get the same hit, that ‘overuse can deaden the subtlety of our sexual palates’ leaving users (typically men) dissatisfied and even dysfunctional when it comes to real-world sex. Clinically, however, we know very little about what material people choose to use, what material they come back to or move on from, and whether claims of escalation and lower partner satisfaction resulting from porn use have any basis.
To truly understand the impact of internet pornography use we need to consider more than these associations and anecdotal observations. We need to know what motivates people to use it, what material they choose to use, how they interpret that material cognitively and emotionally and whether this alters their attitudes and behaviour as individuals and in relationships over time.
While in the media we know that ‘evidence doesn’t generate as many clicks as hyperbole’, getting decent studies into internet pornography use funded, peer-reviewed and published in scientific and academic circles can be just as difficult. Attempts to study the impact of pornography use in a non-negative way can meet significant backlash. Finding participants for studies can also be difficult in a sex-negative culture if individuals aren’t comfortable disclosing the amount and type of pornography they consume. One study in the United States, for instance, found that twenty per cent of men who reported using pornography did not agree that its use was acceptable. This type of internal conflict could easily lead to distorted results in studies that rely on individuals self-reporting their pornography use.
So how should we treat the use of internet porn? In the absence of unbiased clinical evidence, we can only rely on logic, personal observation and judgement about what we use and how it makes us feel.
To combat dissatisfaction with reality, for instance, it might help to stay aware that porn is staged. Participants are actors performing particular scripts and much of what we see is equal to high-end stunts. Precautions such as enemas to remove all traces of faecal matter, vaccinations, STI screenings and clean-ups occur off-screen before the actors switch between anal, oral or vaginal intercourse for the camera. Sites like Make Love Not Porn go some way to providing a realistic perspective on porn, but ultimately it is up to us to keep in mind that what we view isn’t real, and not expect to emulate everything we see on-screen.
To counter the expectation that people look like what we see on-screen — cartoon-like creations with exaggerated features targeted to trigger particular psycho-sexual responses — it might help to become familiar with a variety of real-life body types and non-air-brushed genitalia.
Another logical suggestion to prevent porn dependence is not to rely on it exclusively for masturbation and to sometimes use only our imaginations.
For users experiencing disconnection from their partners, symptoms of erectile dysfunction when porn is absent, or who are otherwise worried about their porn use, the cold-turkey method of going without porn for six or so weeks is probably worth a try. Experts claim it can kick-start the brain to once again respond without extreme stimulation, which seems to make sense. And if it doesn’t work, at worst you will have missed out on six weeks’ worth of porn.
Lastly, be suitably sceptical of reports in the media and use your judgement about what works for you. Porn can have a valuable place for couples and individuals with many potential benefits, but without clinical evidence either way, it seems safest to experience porn mindfully, pleasurably, and in moderation.
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Tuesday, May 13, 2014




Passionfruit's Full Moon Party to celebrate the launch of Lady Bellentina's sexy vegan-leather harnesses IS TONIGHT!

We'll be there guzzling champagne, cupcakes, toys and treats. But first - what the hell to wear?!

The theme is 'light fetish/ bondage wear'.

There is a best dressed prize of 500 DOLLARS of Passionfruit goodies.
This is serious people. 

So what do we mean by 'light fetish/ bondage'? Should I get my gimp mask to the laundrette now? 

If that's what makes you feel sexy and awesome - DO IT! The theme was inspired by beautiful ladies at our Valentine's Day turning up in their cheeky lingerie and naughty sorts.

Beautiful Ladies from our Valentine's Day Party

So think- latex skirt, leather crop top, dog collars, high heels, stockings (with that bit at the top showing purposefully..), red lips, bodices, corsets.

And if you're doing some last minute improvisation- here are 4 tips...

1. Get Belted. 

More than one leather belt? over the shoulder, around the thigh.. see what happens.

2. Get Tied up.

This is a pretty extreme example of the versatility of rope. Google 'Shibari' for ideas!

3. Get Taped

Bondage tape is easy to apply and remove. I love using tape to contour a dress.

4. Bra-vo!

Bras under sheer tops or over tops. Let your puppies sing!

See more fetish-wear inspiration on our Pinterest Board

Last minute FAQs :

-- Can I come even if I can't think of something fetishesque to wear??

Of course!! This is just a fun excuse to wear whatever makes you feel sexy surrounded by other sexy confident women, there are no actual rules! And this is a shopping party so you can always buy something a bit cheeky when you get here if you want.

-- When does the party start?

Party starts at 7pm, ends at 10pm. Plus the first 20 to arrive get special sexy goody bags!

-- Do I need to print my ticket?

We hate needlessly wasting trees at Passionfruit, just bring your fine self and remember your name at the door! You will have needed to register through Eventbrite

-- Can I change into my saucy gear at Passionfruit?

You may indeed! We have changing rooms and a space to store bags. We will also have a coat rack so feel free to wear a big flasher-style over-coat to and from the party. We recommend arriving early to ensure you don't have to queue.

AND ALSO.. HAPPY FULL MOON! Get your howl on.

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Sunday, May 11, 2014



Passionfruit the sensuality shop Lubrary lubricant Melbourne
The 'lubrary' at Passionfruit - shelves of luxury lube. 
Passionfruit is a sensuality boutique. 
Some people think we are a sex shop.

We do sell sex toys, we do sell lubricant. And whips and cuffs. Many delicious things.
But we are not a sex shop. We are not in the traditional 'adult industry'. 

We are in a new industry. The Sensuality Industry. 

We provide expert consultation to address your needs first. 

We have designed a female-friendly, beautiful, luxurious, comfortable environment. 

We understand that your sexual desires and your concern for your pleasure is important, very important. 

We understand that when you are not happy with your sex life you don't feel whole, you feel disempowered. Our mission is to make you whole. 


How do we make you whole?
- Help you choose the right products for you from our curated range of  toys and accessories

- Host boudoir parties to celebrate sensuality with other women
- Provide constant access to education in store (sex ed drop-in) and through workshops (tantra)

What keeps the Passionfruit mission alive?

Your pleasure is very important. You have an accountant for your finances, a mechanic for your car, you have us for your pleasure.
We are open 7 days a week, opening hours :
Monday - Thursday : 11- 7pm
Friday - Saturday : 11- 9pm
Sunday : 12- 6pm
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2014 is the year we do a workshop just for the fellas. We want the men of Melbourne to learn how to leave her in a smokin' heap of ecstasy.


After you've pleasured her with hours of foreplay, it's time to punish her with some expert thrusting.

In the missionary position, her legs wide and beckoning, keep your concentration and thrust as follows:-

9 shallow 1 deep
8 shallow 2 deep 
7 shallow 3 deep
etc until 1 shallow 9 deep
and then reverse.
9 deep 1 shallow
8 deep 2 shallow etc.

Great for prolonged ecstasy and massages nearly all the erogenous zones of the penis and vagina.


Stretch the skin on the pubic bone and just above the clitoris toward the navel whilst stimulating the
clit and labia with a well moistened finger or tongue. 
Alternate the stretch with pressing the skin in the opposite direction toward the clit once in a while.
Satisfaction guaranteed.


As she approaches orgasm ease off a little and tease. 
Keep the stimulation to a level where her arousal is high but not towards the point of no return.
Conversely don't ease off to the point where arousal is ebbing or she is yawning. 
Repeat this as many times as you dare and she'll be screaming for release!
And what a release.


Best done if at least semi erect.

Have partner lie down on stomach with eyes closed or blindfolded.
Gently rub cock back and forth across the back of the knee.
Grabbing ankle gently bring up towards knee creating crease and thrust in the crease. Do both legs. Massage bottom of the feet, calves and backs of thighs up to crease.

Next do same with the insides of elbows, then palms, forearms, upper arms and armpits.
Progress to nape of neck, collarbone, up and down spine etc.

Ask your partner to flip over and gently caress her forehead, eyebrows, eyes , nose , ears and chin with your cock.
Rub yor cock featherlight across her lips..........

From here on is left to your own interpretation though if you wish to continue the tease, nipples and breasts, abdomen , hips and beyond are all fantastic!


As long as you're reading the signals right and mutual trust exists, most women love it when their partner takes total control at times and expresses their unbridled wanton lust!
Basically, we cannot help ourselves and have to have her, here and now!

Grab hold of her, grab her by the back of the neck/hair and french kiss her passionately.
March her to the bedroom (or wherever), lift up her skirt/rip down her jeans and panties and begin stimulating her.
Keep her wrists firmly secured behind (don't hurt), bend her over and fuck her silly!


With your willing partner tied up and blindfolded the show begins.
Random little kisses and nips here and there. She never knows what's coming where or next. Lips, feathers, ice cubes, toys, whips......

Mix it up with long pauses (even leave the room closing the door for effect) to build up desire. Alternate with some more prolonged contact ie. actual penetration, fingers, tongue etc until nature takes it's own course.
The main course!

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Sunday, March 2, 2014


What better way to say 'I love you' than to say 'I fucking love you' in gorgeous twirly writing. 

We stock Calligraphuck cards for this reason. And because we love supporting Australians making their creative outlet their life. 

Linus Boman gives us advice for how to make a living from your creative dreams via his success story.

Founder: Linus Boman 

How the phuck was Calligraphuck born? Give us a story.

Calligraphuck was born out of a love of lettering and swearing.

I had moved back to Brisbane after living in London for a few years and I ended up in a day job where I had a lot of free time. So I started to doodle, and just by nature they ended up mostly being obscene words in fancy writing.

I started sharing these on Instagram and gained a small following. One of my coworkers saw this and asked me to make a birthday card for another colleague and based on the positive feedback from that I started thinking about the idea of making proper greeting cards. I had always loved printing, but could never find the kind of cards that would appeal to my deviant friends that were also well designed.

How did you get the project off the ground?

I wanted to make sure the quality of the cards was top-notch, so I had a look at a lot of different printing techniques. Letterpress really appealed to me because it has this wonderful tactile element – unlike your standard commercial offset printing – the design is literally pressed into the card stock, leaving a deep impression you can feel in your hands. It was also perfectly suited to lettering-based designs.

So after finding the right printers, I set up a crowd-funding campaign on Indiegogo. I set out to raise $5000 to print 4 designs, produce bespoke envelopes and cover worldwide shipping for all the pre-orders.

Luckily, one of the hundreds of blogs I emailed was a pretty high-profile blog in the States which gave us some good exposure, and after that the campaign really took off. In the end it raised more than twice the original goal, and so I had the budget to produce 8 greeting card designs and things have been growing ever since

Was it easier or harder than expected to get Calligraphuck off the ground? What has been your biggest challenge?

A mix of both. I expected it would be hard work. For the first 6 months I packed and sent all the orders myself out of my bedroom (including the crowd-funding campaign, the first Christmas and Valentine's) – having a warehouse has made life a lot more manageable, but finding somewhere that had a pricing structure that made sense for our business took time.

I say "our" because since then my brother Ben has joined me. We're still a small family business. I think our biggest challenge is still ahead. We've been very lucky in that a lot of people love the designs I do, but we're still learning a lot about the business side. International shipping has been a big pain. I moved back to London but a lot of our customers are outside the UK. We'd ideally like to have a US warehouse too but we haven't found anywhere with a price structure similar to what we have in the UK.

Calligraphuck cards at Passionfruit

What does your daily routine look like? Are you spending all your time time now designing and swearing?

It varies, but definitely more now than ever. Now Ben handles the orders so I can focus on the design, but when people email through the website it ends up in my inbox. We're really focussing on expanding the range of designs this year, so that we'll be able to start going to trade shows and more next year.

When I'm working on a design it usually takes about 6–8 hours of work from sketch to artwork to be sent to press. All the lettering is sketched by hand first, then brought into the computer and redrawn in Adobe Illustrator.

Of course there are other things that need time too, like promotion, keeping up relationships with our wonderful resellers (like Passionfruit!), social media (I try to upload at least one original sketch a week) and we have some new offerings coming out in March through Chronicle Books, so things are pretty busy!

For the moment, I still need to take on additional design work too, as the business is only 18 months old and isn't big enough to support us on its own yet. But we hope that it will continue to grow and one day that won't be the case!

Any advice for those with creative business ambitions?

I'd definitely encourage anyone who has an idea to start their own creative business to give it a go. I've been constantly surprised by the interest people have shown in my funny little idea, which goes to show, you're probably not the best person to estimate how successful your own idea could be!

I highly recommend crowd-funding as a great way to get an idea off the ground, and a great way to gauge interest at the same time! Platforms like Indiegogo, Kickstarter and Pozible really can work. Make sure you put the work into it though. 

Make spreadsheets. Work out your costs (make sure you factor in international shipping!). 

Make a list of blogs, people on twitter, friends and family who might be interested and contact them about your project, no matter how self-conscious you might feel about self promoting. You might be surprised by how many people are interested!
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Sunday, July 21, 2013



I don't think I've ever heard of a man who hasn't masturbated. He might as well not breathe than not tug on his manhood. It's as easy for a male to masturbate as it is to take a leak. Hold it, pull it, stroke it and Wa La. Awesome!

Boys may experience some shame in the early days, especially if sex has always been an embarrassing concept and not up for discussion. But I imagine that the wonder and delight at the outcome soon outweighs any negative connotations. Most boys would feel quite proud of themselves and rightly so. Guilt flees rapidly.

A woman however, is a wholly different. To masturbate, a woman must enter herself. Enter the unknown. The forbidden. Her internal universe. Inside. Within. Within is not just of the body. Within is emotional. It is the heart, the soul and the mystery.

Journeying into oneself is no simple matter. It is complex, emotional, a mirror, a landscape and a quest. A quest that she may not want to undertake for fear of the awareness she might find. There is trepidation, wonder, fear and secrecy.  Hardly a tug in the dunny.

This is also reflected in the way males and females approach sex. Mostly, for women it is an emotive, internal act whereas for men, less so. Female sex and masturbation require a spiritual as well as physical journey.

Mystery, pleasure and shadowy realms are all juicy fodder for the onset of guilt and shame. We have at least two millennia of religion and philosophy warning us of the risks of hedonism leading us from the path of virtue and cleanliness.

Both religion and philosophy, the two great foundations of modern culture, agree that to be virtuous, one must suppress appetites and desires, as they can lead us from the narrow, sturdy path of goodness to the entangled, fraught path of danger and sin.

The Bible is overflowing with references to the dangers of pleasure - sexual pleasure being the most treacherous.

"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body." Corinthians 6:18

The success of Christianity depended upon the elimination of the pagan mysteries - you cannot idolise false gods when there is only one god. Females were a mystery unto themselves in this male dominated world and the power and potency of female sexuality was too much of a wildcard that could threaten the great religious powerhouse.

“Woman is defective and misbegotten.” Thomas Aquinas - priest and philosopher.

Of course, you would think that modern Christianity would be a little more flexible and that by now we would be agents of our own destinies - ungoverned by religious morality.

Yet if you tap into any modern Christian website you will see that sex within a strong relationship is acceptable whilst masturbation is not. Hardly a recipe for sexual success. Ergo, women must rely on their male partners understanding their sexuality - not themselves.

"If masturbation is done alone and accompanied by lust, then it is a sin." Pastor Mark Driscoll 2012*

Philosophically too, pleasure is to be avoided if one is to lead an honest, moral life.

"Pleasure is dangerous because it is a deceiver. It leads us astray with false appearances, bewitching and beguiling us, cheating and tricking us. In particular, it deceives us by appearing to be good when it is not." Plato

For philosophers, it is reason that shines its light on life. When reason fails, it is only through the spirit that we can dispel the lure of pleasure.

Accessing the spiritual to banish the pleasurable when pleasure itself is of the spirit is no easy path. No wonder so many of us can't enjoy sex with abandon and climax freely.

For a woman then, masturbation requires an inward journey that contradicts our society's strongest moral foundations. Unbridled pleasure and inner power might be expecting a bit much. Pleasuring herself, entering herself, uncovering her folds and layers, invites shame and guilt more so than for a man whose member is dominant and present and tactile.

A woman who loves sex is still considered wanton, promiscuous, extravagant, unscrupulous, shameless and indecent. (All the things that can be positively erotic because of their immorality).

I urge women to masturbate often and unreservedly, without guilt and shame emasculating their feminine power and sexual potency.

(All artwork by Georgia O'Keefe)


This book made us feel awesome about masturbation. It also offers practical tips and advice.  

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Saturday, May 18, 2013


Sex has become like beauty. The more of it you see, the less worthy you feel. 

Gynaecologists and sex therapists agree that most of their consults who have concerns about sexuality and genitals are 100% normal.  They spend their days reassuring patients instead of fixing them. 

Like faces, vulvas are 'made up' for the cameras and chosen for their 'beauty'. Mostly, they are thin-lipped with no protruding inner labia, pink and hairless. (If they don't fit into this ideal naturally, they are digitally altered).

Censorship in Australia has paid its treacherous part by not allowing a variety of genitalia to appear in legal porn and, like an attractive well balanced face, we have come to prefer the look of some vaginas over others because they fit into a new, 'normalised' framework.

At a vagina workshop recently, I was introduced to Quodoushka - an ancient American Indian, feminine based tradition that is used to understand sexuality and anatomy. Quodoushka unequivocally asserts that, rather than there only being one type of vulva (as you would be led to believe if you got your information from the internet) there are nine.

Yes! All women have one of nine types of vagina. It's rather like the zodiac but rather than evaluating the date and time of your birth, you analyse the shape of your inner and outer lips, the distance your clitoris is from your vaginal opening, the color variation and other telling factors. Once you establish these traits, you become a Bear, Buffalo, Deer or one of the other six female archetypes.

Your archetype also characterises the type of sex you enjoy, how long it takes for you to climax, how lubricated you are, where your G-Spot is located and so on. It provides a framework from which to understand your sexuality and feel empowered by it. 

Excerpts from the book 'Pussy Portraits' - an excellent example of vulval variety.

When we are presented with beauty in all its forms and helped to understand the inherent beauty in all things, it allows us to appreciate and respect what is within us. 

If you have doubts, worries, guilt or shame about your sexuality or anatomy, use the internet to find models other than the stereotypical. Read books, talk to people about these issues and never allow a lover to make you feel abnormal or weird. (You'll know that they're a porn inhaler from way back).

Sexuality has no normal just as beauty is limitless.

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Thursday, November 22, 2012



Smokin' Sex Tips for Boys, back in February, was our most popular post so we thought it was about time the girls got in to it too. With Christmas around the corner, warm summer breezes to ignite latent desires and new lovers on the horizon, it's time to apply some expert tips that will leave your man in a smokin' heap of snoring ecstasy. 

1. Fab Fellatio
For the most sublime head, lift the penis and lightly and tenderly kiss from bottom to top. With featherlight flicks, run your tongue along the underside of the shaft in a straight line from bottom to top. Swirl your tongue around the head paying special attention to the frenulum. Intersperse with cool blowing and warm sucking over the shaft and head. Use your hand as well as your mouth to glide from base to tip. Look into your lover's eyes and show enthusiasm and love. Don't be afraid to use your saliva for lots of lovely lubrication. Hold the penis firmly at the base to keep him hot and hard.

2. Foreplay of the Mind

Anticipation is a beautiful thing. Massage his crotch whenever you have the chance, send him suggestive texts throughout the day, bare a bit of leg (and for an extra thrill, wear suspenders and stockings), lick your ice-cream suggestively and give him your most seductive, carnal glances. Whatever you do, make sure he knows what delicious delight he has waiting for him. A man adores to know that you're having dirty dreams of him and when he finally throws you on the bed to ravish you, the wait will have made it so much more worth it.

3. On the Brink

One of the most erogenous zones on the body is the perineum and anal area. When delighting him with your sublime oral technique, try pressing the pad of your finger around the perineum (the area between the balls and anus) using reasonable pressure. When he's good and aroused, use a lubricated finger to lightly massage around the anus. If he's going to come, insert your finger gently for wild and intense orgasm.

4. Heavenly Hand Work

Hand jobs are soooo much more satisfying when you have a well lubricated hand. Make sure you have some nice massage oil and warm it up a little to begin your massage. Release some tension from his back, shoulders and buttocks before starting on his penis. Don't be sparing with the oil and use good, firm pressure as well as feather light touch and your fingernails to ignite him. Cold pressed oils are excellent for massage and silicone lubricants are positively transformational.

5. Enthusiasm
You cannot underestimate the role of body confidence and enthusiasm. We hear it a lot because it cannot be over-stated. Really try to forget your body hang ups and engage in sex with as much enthusiasm as you can muster. Show him that you are loving every stroke, lick and thrust. Whether you are giving head, providing a masterful hand job or masturbating in front of him, look in to his eyes, make noise and GET INTO IT! It's highly contagious for both partners and he'll feel like the master of the universe.

6. Just For You Baby

Men don't talk about it much, but the pressure to perform can be deflating. A hard, firm, performing penis can be difficult to maintain again and again. Every once in a while, let your man know that you are going to love and pleasure him with no reciprocation. Lie him down, massage, stroke, lick, suck and fuck him if you want to but make sure he understands that there is no pressure to perform. Permission to relax and be pleasured is a wonderful gift. Erection and climax are optional.

..Then wish him a Very Merry Christmas!

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Monday, November 12, 2012



Ta da... what we've all been waiting for (well me anyway) ...50 Shades of Grey the Porno! I have to admit, I couldn't wait to see it. I just had to see how bad it was going to be so I ripped it open, slid it into my laptop and proceeded to scrutinise every arse whipping scene.

An hour later, my overall impression was one of Torana rather than Audi, Fountain Gate rather than millionaire playground Seattle. Despite the movie being not too bad, the special details that we girls love were absent. No Louboutins, sexy office attire, well cut suits or fine food and wine; rather more satin Gasp dresses, stripper heels, pink passion pop and Franco Cozzo interiors. So very suburban.

Despite this, it's one of the best pornos I've seen in ages. Allie Haze is perfect as the innocent, young and corruptible Anastasia Steele. She has the lip biting and eyelash batting down pat, reminding me of a young Katie Holmes - very cute!

'Ryan Driller' as Christian Grey isn't half bad either, considering there's absolutely no-one in porno land or real life for that matter who could live up to such a head turning master of a young man. It was just so disappointing that his suits looked like bad rentals, his house looked like the Geelong Italian Club and his chest and pubic hair were waxed  - no sexy 'happy trail' in sight!

Ana's housemate, the indomitable Kate Kavanaugh isn't so well cast, looking like your typical blonde, big boobed Hollywood porn star getting nailed by Eliot in familiar porno style. Oh well, perhaps the Hollywood version will nail the Louboutins instead.

What I loved about it (yes loved) is that Ana is the one in control. It is her pleasure that is paramount - her pleasure that is at the core of the film. I've only ever seen that happen in various arthouse pornos or cheezy 1970's Candida Royalle movies. Apparently you have to be a radical feminist to be at the receiving end of pleasure.

Mr Grey however, seduces virgin Ana and ravishes her with deep kisses, eye gazing, finger fucking and rather superb oral. She even has orgasms before he penetrates her. Wow! What I always thought was pretty standard is actually revolutionary! Who knew?

If you loved the book, you must see the porno. It might not be the billionaire fantasy you envisaged, but it is "noice, different, unusual."

I was going to give 50 Shades of Grey 4 stars for the casting and especially for the talking which makes for a nice change from grunting, but I will take 1/2 a star away for the gratuitous close up scenes which really aren't particularly attractive.
3 1/2 STARS

Allie Haze
Ryan Driller

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