Sunday, September 11, 2011
Notes from 'How To Thrill A Man Part 1'
At July 30's 'How To Thrill A Man Part 1' workshop, fifteen women came together and were sexually empowered. Together, tantrica Layla and Passionfruit founder Michelle, explored all the senses, discovered every body part and gave all the ideas, confidence and tools to allow a woman to fully emerge in to her sexuality. For those who could not attend, we have summarised the key points for you. Book now for Part 2
To fully embrace her sexual power, to be a confident, passionate and talented lover, a woman must WANT it. She must own her sexuality, take time with it and absolutely revere her own and her lover’s body.
To ease in to lovemaking and to build arousal, there are some wonderful tantric pleasure points to stimulate.
Starting with the back and using your breath, tongue, fingers, breasts and hair begin to lightly massage the tops of the buttocks. The area at the base of the spine and outward to the hips is a powerful tantric zone that builds fire throughout the body.
Work your way up the spine, across the shoulder blades and to the neck and ears.
The ears have a direct connection to the penis and spending at least five minutes just around this area can be a relentless tease.
The perineum, the skin between the testicles and anus is an important erogenous zone and loves to be firmly massaged.
Incorporate feathers, drip water along the spine and lick it off, massage warm oil in to the skin and use a crop or whip to stimulate the blood and bring it to the surface.
The bottom loves being lightly (or heavily) slapped and adding some dirty talk can heat things up.
Never use a heavy hand around the kidneys or along the spine. Along the shoulder blades is ok but it is generally the bottom that responds best.
Following a bit of slap, the red area loves to be soothed with a kiss or a tender touch.
Allow your lover to watch while you administer your pain/pleasure and add to the excitement even further.
Alternatively, just allow the sound of your heels walking slowly across the floor and the tap of your crop on your palm to enliven.
Make him see, hear, taste, touch and smell you.
The area around the anal passage is also full of exciting nerve endings but needs to be relaxed and coaxed into submission to be thrilled.
Just work small circles with your finger around the opening and spend time massaging and teasing. Use some oil or lubricant to further relax and when ready, you can insert a finger or toy. Accessing a man’s prostate through the rectum can be incredibly stimulating for him.
Moving to the front of the body, concentrate on nipples and the skin around the pubic bone. Pinch, squeeze, maybe add some nipple clamps and use your own body as a tool to titillate.
A simple breathing exercise is a wonderful way to prepare yourself for love when you may be tired and also when you want to connect with your lover or slow down when you do not want to climax.
Hold your left and over your heart and your right over your belly. Close your eyes, breathe in and let out your breath forcefully. Repeat twice and with the third breath, hold it in your belly for 10 seconds and follow it back up your body and slowly out of your mouth.
Self pleasure is the self’s core responsibility. It is intrinsic to every woman’s sexuality. Loving your body, respecting and knowing it is not only our responsibility, but vital to our being a fully empowered sexual force. Using fantasy as a way to explore and elevate our orgasmic potential is also an important tool to sexual realisation. Know that whatever you need to fantasise about is OK. Give yourself permission to go wherever your depraved, weird, psycho imagination wants to go. Fantasies are not reality and have no bearing on what we may desire in real life. Sex is heart, body and mind.
Remember when you were a child and the joy and fun you had dressing up? Many men lament that their partner won’t slip into something sexy for them. You can roleplay, be sweet and innocent, dominate or just use stockings and high heels to look hot! Loosen up and play!
Sex toys can be so important in helping a woman realise her sexual potential. Use clitoral stimulators when you want to masturbate alone or as an easy and discreet addition to your lovemaking. Men love them too! Masturbate with a shaft or dual action vibrator in front of your lover to drive him wild! All men are voyeurs and will absolutely love it. It’s also the best education you can give him. Cock rings, placed at the base of the penis, are wonderful to keep a man at full attention for lengthy periods. Pressure at the base of the penis and lots of blood trapped inside his member will keep him happier for longer. The We-Vibe is a brilliant toy that stays inside the vagina and over the clitoris while you’re lovemaking. He will feel your vibrating vagina and you will feel his vibrating penis. Together with clitoral stimulation, it is a great way to feel the rhythm building at the same pace.
Giving him the best blow job of his life will be a present that’s never forgotten, sent to the op shop or dumped in the rubbish. Layla likes to sit her honey down at the end of a hard day and treat him to 40 minutes of lingam love!!! Not the full porn star style vacuum pump but a session of intense worship. Begin by grasping the shaft firmly with your whole hand. Concentrate on the head and the frenulum. Blow over the top - use your breath to awaken him. Put the head of his penis in your mouth but don’t close your mouth just yet. Tease. Run your tongue from the bottom of the penis where the testicles meet the shaft, up along the seam to the frenulum and around the head. Encircle your tongue around the penis - around and around while you are sucking and at the head. Create a vacuum with your mouth - suck in air, hollow your cheeks and pop his penis out at the end. Use your saliva to really work up the lubrication or use a warming oil for added fun. Gently pop his testicles in to your mouth and suck gently. Use your hands and fingers to simultaneously stroke the perineum, the nipples and yourself! Change positions so he can see your butt, your breasts, and more importantly - your eyes. Maintain eye contact as you lovingly lick him and send him to heaven and back.