There are many ways to explore the root of one's resistance to sexual pleasure. Recently I spoke to Tanishka, a tantrica whose approach to healing and enlightenment is through spiritual practice. Today I ask a Melbourne hypnotherapist, Jenni Selwood, about her work with women for whom sexual pleasure remains elusive.
Some women find it difficult to masturbate themselves to orgasm and others, while they have little trouble self pleasuring, cannot fully relax enough to experience orgasm with a partner.
When there is resistance to sexual pleasure, relationships suffer and sexual confidence and power is eroded.
You're a hypnotherapist working in Melbourne.
Yes, I'm a Hypnotherapist and Psychotherapist based in Carlton. I studied Clinical Hypnotherapy 11 years ago and have since been using Hypnotherapy as the main modality of my practice. Prior to that, I worked as a Counseling and Group therapapy for 9 years.
Why specialize in sexual issues?Specializing in sexual issues was actually something that virtually fell into my lap. I remember really enjoying studying sexually related issues but didn't initially specialize in this field. I have a strong practice where I work mainly with women (and a small number of men) who have over-eating disorders and weight related self esteem problems. Consequently this lead onto sex therapy as the majority of clients feel inhibited regarding theirs bodies in a sexual manner as well as weight being a major contributor in sexual dysfunction.
Is your work primarily with women or do you see men too?The majority of my clients are women. Probably around 98 percent. I do see men for self esteem, weight and other issues but refer on for sexual dysfunction.
What kinds of issues inhibit our ability to be sexually confident?The most common issue I come across in regards to sexual confidence is weight and body issues as well as early childhood programming, stress and lack of confidence. I also see quite a number of clients who have experienced trauma and abuse which effects their ability to trust and therefore relax their inhibitions.
How much hypnotherapy do people generally need for it to be successful?The majority of people have major change after only a few sessions of Hypnotherapy but many decide to continue on even after that as they find it a really enjoyable experience and become quite enthusiastic in regards to their personal evolution.
If you don't know why you have resistance, can you still help or do you need a clear idea of why a person is holding back?One of the great things about Hypnotherapy is the client can have virtually no conscious knowledge as to why they are experiencing sexual dysfunction or inhibitions and with as little as one session, their life, experiences and behaviors become clear and make way for change and freedom.
When using Hypnotherapy, the client delves deep into their sub-conscious mind. The sub-conscious mind is the driver of our life in regards to how we feel about things, what we believe etc. and therefore in that deep state, we are open to change, realizations and catharsis.
I get brilliant feedback from my clients. Out of well over 2000 clients I can only remember 2 off hand which haven't been able to relax enough to allow hypnosis to work. With both those clients, I then used another form of psychotherapy which suited them more appropriately.
Thank you Jenni.
Hypnotherapy is such a fascinating subject and I've always been interested in the way in which it can unlock parts of our subconscious and help us to improve our lives. Most of us I think, have issues that hold us back from being the best we can be in all aspects of our lives, and naturally, it's the things we aren't aware of that are so difficult to change. In fact, I'm so fascinated, I'm going to ask Jenni for some hypnosis myself and see what might be holding me back from superstardom. Stay tuned!